Friday, 4 June 2010

back in the beginning, when i was still pregnant - #3

Not sleeping

October 19, 2009 by nongeordiemum

It’s frustrating. I had finally caught up on my sleep, and now I can’t sleep. It’s 1am and I have to be up at 6.30pm.

I know why. It’s the scan tomorrow. Supposed to be 12 weeks, but it actually falls at 11+2 – that’s 11 weeks 2 days. Presuming everything is OK, we’ll be telling people from tomorrow (although I won’t be posting anything on facebook yet – there are still people I want to tell in person, and I don’t want to spoil the surprise! So those of you ‘in the know’ will have to wait a while longer before we can talk about it on there :)

But that’s what scares me. That ‘presuming everything’s OK’. I have no reason to think it won’t be – but -

there is such a thing as a missed miscarriage. Where the baby has died but the body hasn’t expelled what is left. I looked up the details before. They are rare -

but they exist.

I’ve been doing everything right, so my risk is low anyway. I haven’t had caffeine since the beginning of September – until one weak black cup of tea today. It tasted so good. So the chances are that everything is well.

I don’t actually feel worried. But I won’t believe everything is OK until I see it. And I can’t really believe that everything really is fine until then.

Presuming everything is – it will be such a relief to be able to talk about it.

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