Monday, 7 June 2010

this. read this.

What Emily says about being scared she doesn't count her son enough. And about the comparing pregnancy length and grief, and whether a halfway-through-pregnancy loss is somehow easier.

And especially this:

Sometimes I worry that I will come to view him as 'less' because he was premature. I know I've struggled with seeing my pregnancy as less 'valid' than other women's because I delivered at 23 weeks, and because I spent much of it on my couch. I never got swollen ankles from standing too long...I never got that sore achy back from running around while pregnant...never really felt Aidan move all that much because of his lack of fluid. I was pregnant...but I didn't feel I really got the 'full experience'. Kinda like saying you've been to Disneyworld, but never went on any of the rides.

I didn't take much notice of being pregnant. I didn't want stroking my belly to become some kind of affectation. So I never did.

Different reasons for a very similar feeling.

4 comments:

Catherine W said...

Thank you for sharing B. Really interesting post.

lis said...

thank you for sharing *tears and more tears*
thinking of you
xoxo

mare said...

thanks for sharing such an insightful and moving post.

B said...

thanks all.
xx