Wednesday, 14 July 2010

I just read this on the BBC:
Care lacking for bereaved parents.

More than half of maternity units are still lacking a dedicated bereavement support midwife, a survey suggests.

The stillbirth charity Sands also found that nearly half have no specific room on the labour ward for a mother whose baby has died, where she is shielded from the sounds of other newborns.

The counsellor I went to at the RVI had her phone switched on at every appointment I went to.

Sometimes she answered it while she was with me.

She told me that she believes 'these babies go to a better place'.

And that she didn't mean that 'in a religious way'.

And many other things i can't be bothered to remember right now.

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I hope that one day they get someone there who is dedicated to bereaved parents.

5 comments:

Maddie said...

The hospital I was at has two dedicated bereavement midwifes. I'm so grateful for that and wish every hospital had something similar. Not only at the time but in the months following they've dealt with the hospital when I had questions regarding accounts and are willing to do a one on one ante natal class for us so we don't have to attend the regular ones.

Sadly, it's necessary service.

Maddie x

Miss Ruby said...

That's SO wrong that she answered phone calls while with you. I would have ripped her a new one (yes even in my bereaved stated - in fact probably more so) and then complained about her.

Society needs to wake up and realise that pregnancy and baby loss is real and is happening and we need to acknowledge and talk about it more.

Big hugs

xxx

Illanare said...

I can't believe she did that! That is unprofessional at best, heartless at worst and unforgiveable generally.

Catherine W said...

I am so sorry B. That is awful. I've read bits and pieces of the SANDS report and it saddened and angered me.

I never realised how lucky I was with the support that I was given. I only wish that everyone could have access to the same services that I did.

I'm not surprised that you can't be bothered to remember the other things that your counsellor said if those two samples are anything to go by.

B said...

the only reason i didn't complain about her is because she might be able to get me early scans next time around. i'll be booked into a different hospital and it's not one my midwife knows and can phone up and say 'can you just give her a quick scan to put her mind at rest?'. the one where she can do that is one that i'm not convinced i want to set foot in ever again.

but i feel terrible that i might have be able to improve the care for someone else and i did nothing.

i still might complain. i'm feeling more able to now.

the thing that bugged me most? one day when she had her phone on, she told me that the call she was waiting for was to do with her daughter's application to a nursing course.

and she saw that as more important than switching her phone off to be with me.

it didn't make me feel hugely important.

i'm glad that other people got better care than me. i hope that if it happens again i will get better care too.