i've turned really quiet at the minute. i'm frustrated. the soy hasn't made the slightest bit of difference. i'm on cd18 and still haven't ovulated. there is no realistic chance for this cycle. either i'll ovulate imminently, in which case there is no hope because the hubby is ill and se.x is out of the question, or i'll ovulate later and supposedly you have less chance of conceiving with late ovulation.
i was so, so positive and optimistic over the weekend. i really believed this was the month. we had (great) se.x and my temp jumped perfectly. but only for one day. now it's back down.
i still haven't seen my friend and her baby. hopefully soon.
i was terrified about my husband yesterday. he had a terrible stomach bug and a high fever. i had to leave him and go to work. i was rehearsing in my head on my way home what would happen when i found him dead.
i'm just glad i'm on the antidepressants. i was bad, but not properly panicking. i think i was just disasteralising to stop the worst from happening. it's not a fun way to be but i have been like this since i was a kid.
i found out there will be a couple of people about 7 months pregnant at my sister's wedding. one of those is one of my cousins. aaargh. at least i have bracing time i suppose. and i think my cousin will understand if i ask her to let me approach her when i'm ready. she was very considerate in the way she broke the news of her pregnancy. it's funny, i haven't seen her in years, but she was more considerate than some of the people supposed to be my friends were.
i think i need to take a bit of a break. from commenting at least, possibly from blogging at all.
i don't think it will last more than a couple of weeks. i suppose that when i find out i'm not pregnant again this month (yay optimism!!!!) i'll be back.
i'm thinking of you all even if i'm not commenting. i hope you're all well.