i had already done the pregnancy test and watched the display change to
i had waited patiently for D to get out of bed and get showered so he was more awake. i had walked up to him with the test behind my back and then said 'do you really think we'll have trouble getting pregnant?' he'd floundered for words, before i pulled the test from behind my back and held it out for him to see. it took him a minute to register what it was and what it meant. but then he worked it out, and hugged me.
this time last year i was looking up the BBC pregnancy calendar at my desk in work while the skies outside were grey and heavy with rain. hiding it every time anyone came near.
my sister-who-lives-in-continental-europe called at around 10am. i had already guessed she was engaged but she told me during that phone call. i wanted to tell her my news, too, but didn't want to steal her thunder. it was really nice to hear about how happy she was.
i wasn't in work in the afternoon. i went to the library and got out four pregnancy books including 'what to expect'.
D and i were going to a Newcastle match that night with a friend from my work and her sister. before that D and i met for tea. i claimed when i nearly knocked over a glass of water that 'it was because i was pregnant', and we laughed. (i'm just clumsy, really.)
(we were so, so happy. jubilant, even.)
i worried when we jumped to our feet when newcastle scored and the cheers were all around that i would somehow be hurting the baby.
a year ago today.......