Sunday, 24 October 2010

comment from merry:

The trouble is, you are surrounded with people with dead babies without the good experience some of us have to help you know you've gone through something relatively rare. Most pregnancies DON'T end in dead babies.

yes! that's exactly right. and that's the problem, although it's also a good part. hanging around the babyloss quarters of the internet means that i don't feel so alone, that what happened to me wasn't something that doesn't happen at all. but now i'm pregnant again all i can see is the miscarriages and the stillbirths and the neonatal deaths. all i can see are the people who have lost more than one pregnancy (at any stage) or child.

i read the book Avoiding Miscarriage last night. I actually found it quite reassuring. I see our odds of miscarriage as one in two, really - either it's going to happen or it isn't - but according to that stats at this point it's only about one in five. there's a good chance that i'll end up having this baby.

before i got pregnant i couldn't read certain blogs. not 'pregnant women' or 'women with living children', nothing that concrete. some i could read, but some i couldn't, and i never figured out why.

i suspect that for my own sanity i'm going to have to stop reading the blogs of those who've miscarried more than once. i hate that, but i think it's something i need to do.

"Most pregnancies DON'T end in dead babies."

So true Merry. thank you for reminding me. such a simple thought but it seems revolutionary to me right now.


brianna said...

Yes, Merry is so right. Most pregnancies do not end the way they did for you or for me. You must keep hearing that if you are ever to believe it is true.

Do what you need to do to keep your sanity and your emotional strength. If that means stepping away from reading other people's blogs then you should certainly do that.

I'll be cheering you on.

cullensblessings said...

I agree- find whatever it is you need that will bring you support and hope and light.
Thinking of you...

Miss Ruby said...

You do whatever you have to, to keep your mind on the right track.

It's all about survival.

Illanare said...


mare said...

It is true, what Merry said. Please take care of yourself and do whatever you have to do to protect your feelings and sanity.

Thinking of you, B.

Merry said...


Lots of love.