Monday, 18 October 2010

i have to learn to stop reading new blogs if they are talking about things that terrify me. if those things happen, i know where they are for mutual moral support, but until that time, i need to stop reading.

if this baby is going to stick, it's going to stick.

if it's not, it's not.

i can't make it go by reading about very early miscarriage, can i?

... can i?

please stay, baby. please stay.


Miss Ruby said...

Nope you can't.

I say what I'm about to say with love. I say what I'm about to say from a place of having many many miscarriages and taking my own advice.



Whatever will be will be, as the song goes.

Focus on the now. Enjoy this moment. You're pregnant. Get up in the morning and think "I'm pregnant". When you go to bed at night think "Another day I got through and I'm still pregnant - hallelujah".

Worrying about things that may never happen - and remember the goal here is to reach 9 months [or there abouts] and come home with a real live, breathing, crying, sleeping, shitting baby and nothing says that won't happen - takes away from enjoying this moment in your pregnancy.

Have you thought about writing your fears down in the form of letters to your baby? That way when your bubba is born you will have these to look back on and see what a good outcome you had!!

Love you


B said...

thank you so much my love. you made me cry. in a good way.
and i think i will write a letter.

Sue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Angie said...

It always grates on my nerves a bit when people tell me not to worry. They mean well, but obviously don't get it.

I researched (and still do research) ALL the possible types of miscarriage. A lot of it was terrifying. Even now I find myself researching it, the odds, that sort of stuff. Sometimes it's reassuring, even. And usually, it's not. But for me, it's been hard to stop.

Miss Ruby said...

Angie, I'm sorry if reading me telling someone to stop worrying and enjoy the moment bothers you.

For the record I DO get it, I've lost 8 babies, am on 11 years ttc and still no prize, each one has made me realise that by worrying about what may happen [and in my case inevitably always does end up happening - yup when I get knocked up I pretty much know I'm going to miscarry, the odds and history don't give me much hope but still....] it takes away the enjoyment of my pregnancy there and then, however brief it is.

Advice I still stand by.

biojen said...

You listen to your mommy, little baby. Stay, stay, stay.

Lots of love to you, B. Hang in there.

B said...

miss r, thank you my love. and angie, thank you too.

different sides of a coin i keep turning over in my hands.

jen, i hope this tiny one listens to you :)

Tears in November said...

Oh, you know, I could have written this post. It is almost as if you where in my mind.