somewhere in this house is a shoe box.
in that shoebox are the things we were given for the baby. last time around.
and a couple of samples of things that would last until this time around.
and i want that shoe box. so, so badly.
i want to look at the contents, and imagine a happy ending.
but i don't know where it is.
and D denies all knowledge of it existing.
so i guess it must be trapped in the room that time forgot (previously mentioned here).
and that means it'll be a while before i can access it.
today i don't really believe that there's even the merest hope that this will work out.
but i still want to buy a blanket.
something to keep the baby warm.
or maybe something to keep my hopes warm when they seem too far away.
i think part of me is mourning this baby even while - as far as i know - it's still alive.
i meant to say. even D has commented on suddenly seeing pairs of magpies and crows everywhere, after only seeing singles for so, so long.
either i've really infected him with my crazy, or maybe they really do know something.