Thursday, 4 November 2010

i went to see my GP this morning.

when i arrived at the bus stop, a single crow was hopping round a few feet away.

my heart sank.

---

i got the doctor to show me the actual numbers from the HCG blood tests.

the first number, at 5+3, was 17,116. the second, 48 hours later at 5+5, was 24,010.

that's not doubled.

---

however, they are pretty high. and apparently when they are over 6,000 mIU/ml they take four or more days to double. but other pages say that levels should keep doubling up to about 7-8 weeks, and i'm not there yet.

and now i've just looked at the table at the bottom of this page. going off that my numbers are higher than the usual range.

shit. i wish i understood what the hell was going on.

---

i don't want it to be twins. i know too many people who've had twin pregnancies end badly.

---

i'm also hoping that this doesn't signal molar pregnancy.

---

aaaaaargh. my head is a mess. i'm so terrified that this pregnancy is over even though it's hardly begun.

i'm also kind of wondering whether i'm further on than i think, but my chart seems pretty definite - not much room for having ovulated earlier than it seems. no?

---

i'm hoping to get a scan on monday or tuesday. i need to know.

---

edited to add, i called the hospital. the woman i need to speak to isn't in til monday. i guess i'll call on monday morning.

11 comments:

car said...

Oh B, please try not to freak yourself out. I hope you can get in for a scan early next week.

sarah said...

Sending love...and fingers crossed that all is well.

Jenn said...

Oh, B, I'm sorry your results weren't what you were hoping for. I've got no experience with hcg numbers, I've never had them tested. I was offered that after our scan on Monday but turned it down. Thought it would just give me more to obsess about without actually giving me much more info.

I think the ovulation date on your chart looks correct, but maybe the few days before ovulation with the open circles would have been higher temps? So maybe ovulation a few days earlier?

I have everything crossed and am praying daily for you that all is well. Thinking of you and sending hugs.

Merry said...

When I was pregnant with twins it was 9000 at 5+2. I lost the twin, and it did a good bit less than double between that and the next.

And (go back and look, I said it before you even had the tests to warn you!) the doubling is not at all reliable after the first little bit or once it starts to be pretty high. Please try to relax.

Repeat after me. Most pregnancies end in a healthy baby.

Merry said...

And all sorts of people give very different types of number. They would NOT expect it to double at that level and you could have implanted really quickly.

Please chill. There are lots of twins in the world too :)

B said...

thank you all. i'm less freaked than i was earlier (getting it out did help, who knew) so let's just hope i can stay this way til monday.

and merry, you did say that. i should have got you to remind me before i looked at the numbers :)

brianna said...

B,

I am no expert in HCG numbers but I do know that lab ranges are just best guesses as to an average based on a number of samples and a specific lab. People fall out of these ranges and it does not necessarily signify something amiss.


I'll be thinking about you and hoping that you get that scan soon and that it gives you some reassurance.

Big Love, Big Acceptance - or so I say said...

Thinking of you!

I don't know about hcg numbers either, but I get the stress of a subsequent pregnancy after loss. Hang in there! And as my therapist encouraged me, find some good districations when you find yourself spinning out of control with stress and anxiety.

XOXOXO

Angela said...

I think of you all the time. I wish you lived nearby. My husband is a sonographer - he doesn't work with babies, but one of his friends could sneak you in for a quick scan after hours. Thankfully Monday isn't too far off. I hope letting all of your thoughts and feelings out is helping. Remember to breathe.

biojen said...

well - my "get B pregnant" magic wand worked so I'm going to try waving the "calm B down" magic wand :)

Seriously, I wish I could take you out for a (non-alcoholic) drink and let you relax. This must be so hard. Don't worry about getting hysterical with the doctors - that might get you a scan faster.

Take care of yourself, I'm keeping everything crossed that everything is fine.

Jenn said...

Hey B,

Been thinking of you today, hope you're hanging in there. ((hugs))