Friday, 12 November 2010

last time around the baby died four days after a scan.

this is all happening three days after a scan.

---

last time i found out the day after i'd been out for lunch with a group from work.

today i went out for lunch with a group from work.

---

last time it was november.

now it's november.

---

this doesn't feel good.

i'm going to bed.

---

i'm terrified i'm going to wake up bleeding in the middle of the night.

7 comments:

biojen said...

Oh, honey. I'm so, so sorry you are so scared right now. Just be easy with yourself, get what rest you can. I'm hoping with everything I have that this is going to be okay. I wish I could give you a hug.

Illanare said...

Sweetie I am so sorry for all this, and for how scared you are. I know that there is nothing I can say that will make this any better.

As Biojen says, get what rest you can. I am keeping you very firmly in my thoughts.

xx

Angela said...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Rest up, do as little as possible. As others have said I know my words won't make anything better. I'm sorry you are so scared. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

trousers said...

Last time is not this time, whatever the outcome. It just isn't.

I'm not going to say, "don't be scared", after the last year or so you're going to be scared. But last time isn't this time, and things will take their own course.

Be strong - you have that strength. You do.

lis said...

i know you won't believe me if i say it will all be alright. but i truly believe that. and that's all you can do right now - have faith in your body. it was able to get pregnant again (yay!) it made a beautiful little peanut with a strong heartbeat. there is no reason that it shouldn't work.
many, many girls experience bleeding with preg. put your feet up, drink water and try to relax. i know that it's hard but it will be alright. and to top it all off, it was brown blood. they didnt even want to see me when i was preg w brown blood.
okay? i hope you feel a little bit better.
xoxo
lis

Miss Ruby said...

Damn time differences!

I am so so sorry my friend and I won't tell you to still have hope because I KNOW that doesn't help but I will still have hope FOR you.

You know my email addy, vent anytime you like, I unfortunately know only too well what you're feeling right now, uncertainty is a scary thing.

I will text you later today [your time].

Big hugs and stay strong, because you are stronger than you think.

xxx

Cally said...

Oh God B, I'm really nervous for you. I know you don't want people to tell you it'll be alright but I really, really hope it will be. I'm not religious but I'll say a little prayer. xx