no change here. no more blood. still no pregnancy symptoms. i know they can come and go but until wednesday they were pretty much constant. i haven't had any for three days now.
i cleaned the kitchen this morning. D had made gravy yesterday. normally it makes me feel sick dealing with the jug even when i'm not pregnant. this morning, not a flicker. i actually feel less sick than my usual state of being.
still over two full days to go through before i can find out what the hell is going on.
we've given up hope. i mean, i'm not drinking alcohol or eating runny eggs or anything yet (and i crave nothing more than the oblivion of being really drunk right now) but that's only because i don't want to do anything i'd regret in the unlikely chance that everything is actually ok.
we started trying to conceive in april 09. (i know that's nothing compared to some of you.)
if you'd told me then that 18 months later i still wouldn't have a living baby in my arms i would never have believed you.
the dream seems extremely far away, and entirely pointless.