Monday, 17 January 2011

cross posted with an online pregnancy-post-loss forum:

after being 100% happy and confident all weekend after the scan last week went so well, i'm now back down to earth and terrified that the baby has died :(

i think the only reason is because i've been confident and not-worried all weekend, so *obviously* that means this is the moment where something has gone wrong (at least in my twisted brain). i felt something last night that i'm pretty sure was movement but it's still pretty early - this is the furthest i've got in pregnancy and i never felt any movement last time, but even so i'm just thinking 'well that just means it died overnight instead of yesterday'. i never really feel anything in the morning anyway but i just want it to move so i know it's ok.

i just want to know it's ok in there. hang on my love. please hang on.

5 comments:

Suzy said...

hang in there - pregnancy after loss is a special kind of insanity! My mind works the same way as yours and it was always when everything seemed fine that I started to worry.

Praying for your little one to make his/her appearance healthy and happy at term :)

Kelly said...

Gosh I wish that you weren't experiencing this. I always feel reassured for about a week after a scan and then I'm in a tailspin again.

(((HUGS))) Remember, this pregnancy is different and you have no reason to think that it won't work out.

Catherine W said...

Thank you for the warning!

I am having one of those days as well. Have been in tears at work twice today.

Hope your little love is hanging on in there. Early movements are half reassuring and half maddening as then you start worrying about lack of movement when you haven't felt any prods for a while. xo

Miss Ruby said...

[o]

B said...

thank you all. it helps to know that people are thinking of me. x