Tuesday, 22 February 2011

i had to go to the hospital tonight. the baby didn't move all day and i was scared to death. he's ok though. they listened to his heartbeat and he's fine. the midwife used the word 'perfect', which scared me, but she meant well.

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i think i've mentioned that there are four other pregnant women in my work. i've spoken about being pregnant to three of them since finding out they were pregnant. the fourth i've only seen in passing. she's one of those people who's lovely but i never see her so i always forget that she's lovely. anyway, i bumped into her today, and we ended up chatting. and i found out she had an ectopic pregnancy at the end of last year.

i had suspected that she'd lost a baby, but it's not the kind of thing you can exactly ask. but she was quite open about it, and we ended up talking about pregnancy after loss. her experience was obviously very different to mine, but her experience of pregnancy after loss... well, let's just say it was nice to talk in person, out loud, to someone who gets the fear and the reluctance to believe the best and the being slightly freaked out by all the pregnancies in work and the not really being a normal pregnant woman and ... just everything.

i wanted to hug her at the end but didn't want to freak the poor girl out :)

5 comments:

Hope's Mama said...

Reading blogs and sharing emails with babyloss mums from around the world does help, but I think speaking to someone in person who understands your pain is invaluable. Glad you were able to connect.
xo

Brooke said...

What amazes me is not just how many of us have some experience with this kind of loss, but how well we hide it. I'm glad you were able to make this connection with someone in person.

R. said...

Relieved everything was ok with your pregnancy.

Miss Ruby said...

glad to hear that everything was ok. also glad to hear that you are obviously now definitely feeling movement! yay!

i've heard, that to get the lil sprogs moving around - coke followed by a mars bar - sugar does wonders :-P

glad you managed to find someone to talk to and i think she may have liked the hug - i mean really who doesn't like hugs?

~x~

Jenn said...

B, glad to hear all was well and also glad to hear you got some face time with a fellow DBM. That always does good things for me. Thinking of you lots. xx