You know those realisations that come from nowhere and completely blow your mind?
As a direct result of losing the baby i effectively ditched half my friends.
Leaving aside the rights and wrongs, the who-treated-who-like-crap and the you-should've-been-there-for-me... It meant that i had very few baby friends and none with babies the same age. I needed to make new ones and i did.
I also have babylost friends who have also gone on to have living children since.
It wasn't deliberate but they are nearly all Attachment Parenting mums.
If i hadn't lost s, well... I very much doubt that would have been the case. The mums i knew were very different and have very different parenting styles.
... I can't explain this properly. But i think i've ended up a far more responsive, confident mum than i would otherwise have been.
I think it's that thing about not being *glad* about what you've lost, that would be insane, but being thankful for the gifts your loss brings when you come across them.
Am i making any sense at all???